If you ask a person on the street which word is
likelier to contribute to personal and professional success—yes or no—that
individual will probably choose the former. But as many leaders in the world of
business and politics will tell you, learning to say no can be every bit as
important as knowing how to say yes. The reasons for this are largely
intuitive: by turning down some engagements, you free up time, energy, and
mental focus for the endeavours you find most inspiring.
However, many of us feel distinctly
uncomfortable with saying no, often because we worry that doing so may cause
offence or otherwise lead to negative social consequences. Insofar as it
compels us to take on more commitments than we can handle at any one time, this
anxiety can hamper our pursuit of the professional and life goals that are most
important to us.
Establish
and respect your own boundaries.
Your work is surely a high priority for you—but
so are your health, quality time with friends and family, leisure time, and
other hobbies or avocations. Think of your lifestyle as analogous to a meal:
nearly everyone would prefer a flavourful medley of high-quality, healthy
ingredients to a monochromatic, humdrum dish of little nutritional value.
Likewise, if you devote all of your time to a single work-related project, you
probably won’t enjoy a wholesome existence.
Once you set parameters like the number of hours
you’re willing to devote to a new project, and commitment versus expected
benefit, you’ll find it easier to distinguish the undertakings that really
interest you from the also-rans.
Be honest
with yourself.
Before you dive headfirst into any significant
assignment, ask yourself the following questions:
1) Am I genuinely passionate about this project?
2) Five years from now, will I look back on my efforts with pride?
3) Is it consistent with my values?
4) Why is it important to me to take this on?
5) Will I be able to dedicate sufficient time to this?
6) Do I have the necessary technical expertise, and/or can I partner
with someone who does?
Unless you can answer all or most of those
questions, you’re better off saving your talents for something that’s more up
your alley. Otherwise, you’ll likely either feel stretched too thin, or a sense
of regret about the opportunity cost.
Know your
strengths.
We all have strengths and weaknesses. The first
step on the path to success in any field is to identify your own. Once you know
where your own aptitudes and deficiencies lie, you can work to refine the
former and improve the latter. You’ll also know which of your personal
attributes you can rely on in high-pressure situations.
The willingness to venture outside one’s comfort
zone is often an admirable quality. But if a project either isn’t your cup of
tea from a technical standpoint, or you sense that your time would be better
spent elsewhere, you should consider either turning it down or delegating it.
Strategies
for politely declining:
“I’d like
to know more. Can you send me more information?” This
serves two purposes. First, it provides a test of the other individual’s
commitment; if you never hear from h/er, you will know. Second, it gives you
the opportunity to learn more about the endeavour itself before deciding
whether to take it on.
“Let me
check my calendar and get back to you.” This is not
an explicit demurral, but it does enable you to buy time. It is possible that
the person who pitched the idea to you will forget after a while.
Alternatively, on further reflection you may decide that the project is right
up your alley.
“This
seems like an excellent, worthwhile idea, but unfortunately...” Shortage of time is an excuse that most people will accept,
particularly if they’re not close friends of yours who happen to be conversant
with your schedule.
