In
addition to integrity and resoluteness in decision-making, great leaders often
possess an intangible knack for mobilizing people of disparate backgrounds,
personalities, and values toward common goals—maximizing the potential of the
team.
How
do they do it?
Over
the past three decades, researchers have identified emotional intelligence as a crucial
component of professional success, self-actualization, and exemplary
leadership.
What
is emotional intelligence?
Emotional
intelligence, sometimes abbreviated as EI or EQ, is a term that first appeared
in the 1980s, and came into popular usage after a 1990 essay by social psychologists Peter
Salovey and John D. Mayer. EI encompasses motivation, emotional
self-management, and the capacity to ascertain and appropriately respond to the
feelings of others.
In
business, EI has numerous practical applications: for example, knowing how and
when to ask for a raise; expressing one’s own thoughts, feelings, and ambitions
in a tactful and effective manner; soliciting and evaluating input from
colleagues; managing stress, both personal and environmental; boosting morale;
and avoiding procrastination.
People
with higher EI scores tend to have a competitive edge
Studies
indicate that, on average, individuals with higher EI scores enjoy higher
salaries, and in some areas, can even outperform rivals with higher intelligence quotients
(IQs) than themselves.
Israeli-American
psychologist Daniel Kahneman has noted that people with higher EI are also
perceived differently by those with whom they interact. Prospective clients and
partners prefer to do business with professionals they like and trust, and subjective
likability and trustworthiness both correlate to EI.
It’s
possible to both measure and modify EI
A
quick internet search will yield a series of EI tests, ranging in length and
complexity. A simple one can be found here. Your results should give you a rough
idea of where your own strengths and weaknesses lie.
Although
EI is partly a function of innate features like personality and genetics, many
experts agree that EI can be more readily modified than IQ.
How
to improve your EI
One
key component of EI is emotional self-awareness: the ability to identify one’s
own feelings, the physical reaction that attends them, and the precise reason
for that sentiment.
You
may find that it helps to keep
an emotional journal.
Write down the thoughts that occur to you and the physical sensations you
associate with particular emotions. Note that certain emotional states tend to
trigger the same physical response consistently; for example, stress often
leads to shallow breathing, tense muscles, and an elevated heart rate.
By
recognizing and addressing these physical symptoms (through breathing
exercises, for instance), you will increase your chances of managing intense
emotions and their impact on you.
A
few other tips:
• Daily meditation can help immensely in
dealing with anxiety, anger, and negative thoughts, and empower you with mental
techniques for dealing with them.
• Listen: Give others your
undivided attention, allow them to finish what they’re saying, and leave time
for them to think and respond to your statements. Pay particular attention to body language. Ask clarifying
questions—your
goal should be to attain as complete an understanding of your interlocutor’s
ideas and point of view as possible.
•
Figure
out exactly what you want,
then decide how best to articulate it, and why it is important to you. Know how
to ask for something: “I’d
like...please.”
• Empathize: How would you feel if
you were in someone else’s position? Reflect on instances in which you felt you
behaved empathically, and others in which you believe you could have done
better.
• However, don’t ruminate
excessively over your past shortcomings—after all, the past is beyond
your control. Acknowledge your errors, try to make amends to the people you
feel you’ve wronged, and commit to avoiding similar mistakes in the future.
• Respect and
openness:
Encourage others to share their thoughts and concerns. Emphasize that open,
honest, respectful dialogue is an important component of the professional
atmosphere you hope to cultivate.
• Stop
procrastinating. If
you find a task difficult, unpleasant, or time-consuming, break it up into
smaller parts. Create a to-do list, and remove unnecessary distractions from
your work space. Try the Pomodoro technique: 25 minutes of work, interspersed
with short breaks of about five minutes. If you’re the type who thrives on time
pressure, but would prefer to finish a project well in advance, impose (in
writing) a deadline on yourself, and stick to it.
Nearly
everyone would benefit from better EI, especially those with leadership
aspirations. Put some effort into improving your EI, and the results may
pleasantly surprise you.
